As we are going into another new year, and the Christmas season has ended, I can’t help but reflect on my year. The feeling on New Year’s Eve is one of high anticipation, feelings of hopes of what your new year will bring.
As I start to reflect on the year that has passed, thoughts vividly pass through my mind. I start to think how many times God was there for me. Amazing prayers got answered recently and ones that were said years ago, all the times that God took care of my needs and worries and wiped away endless tears. The unexpected blessings he lavished me with, the angels that he used as friends.
At this time, I had situations that I could not fix or control. In these times, I met my “Heavenly Father”. My relationship with Him grew deeper and deeper. The trials I faced left me with one option – To Trust Him. I learned to take the heavy back pack of worry, fear and hopelessness and lay it down at His feet. In Matthew 11:28 it says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”.
Trust, Faith and Hope were words that I clung to. Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." In 2009, my husband was laid off from his engineering job due to cutbacks in the firm. At the end of that year, through much prayer and direction we felt that God was leading him to become a financial planner. This is a business where you get paid when you get clients. He is working two jobs six days a week trying to make ends meet and for heath insurance. So 2010 became my walk of faith.
I had to go through a time this year with no health insurance. That was huge in my faith. To me, the thought of something seriously happening to me and not being covered would be an area of panic. The only solution I had was to trust and have faith that God would protect me. A humorous story happened a week after my 40th birthday. I was walking down the stairs with a laundry basket when somehow I saw the white basket leave my hands and fly through the air like a boomerang. My body was following but I was in the air also. The basket lands and here I come now in a tumbling position. " Houston I have landed." As I sat there, I felt like my legs were in another room and someone had to put me back together again. I felt this burning sensation. I laid and just cried (yes I am a little dramatic) but the cry was not only from the fall it was one of those cries where it comes up from your toes. The pain wasn't about just the fall. I started to think if something is broken I have no insurance. My husband helped me up and thankfully nothing was broken just bruised. God did take care of me and put me back together again.
I’m not telling you my year was easy. Yes, there were times where I was having my fits and felt like rolling around on the floor like a two- year- old. But I felt like I could tell Him my feelings of frustration. Instead of calling a girlfriend up and going on a rampage I started to turn to God first. It brought such a peace. It was like letting it go and giving it to Him. I let Jesus be my Hero.
If you ever saw the movie Elf there is a scene where Buddy the elf thinks the real Santa is coming to the department store. He is truly excited. And he screams real loud I KNOW HIM!!! That’s what I feel like my year was. I feel like screaming from the roof top "I KNOW HIM!!! I KNOW JESUS!!"
Going forward into 2011, I have decided to keep a journal filled with prayers, answered prayers and testimonies. So when each year turns into the next, I can reflect on how God’s hand has touched my life. I will see how many times God has carried me when I was too weak to fight the battle.
I am so grateful for 2010. I thank Jesus for all the hardships, pain and blessings because it made my faith grow. The seeds of faith were planted as far back as I can remember but this year is when they harvested. This Year’s resolution for me is New Year - New Me. I don’t want to have a list of all my resolutions because it would be right up there with the top two dieting and exercising. By February, we all know that the resolution wears off and we are in the drive through at McDonald’s ordering a Big Mac and shoveling it in our mouth. I want my resolution to be more of Jesus. At least I know with this choice there is no guilt, just unconditional love and forgiveness, a chance for him to show me his plans for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 states, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I want this to be another year I can shout I KNOW HIM!!!!
