Lessons in Leadership Two and Three by Kim Checkeye

Last week, I posted a blog about lessons in leadership from the John C. Maxwell leadership Bible. In the Introduction of Deuteronomy, he lists eight lessons in leadership. We discussed the first lesson: Develop your core values and beliefs before taking new territory.

What I love about these eight lessons is that each one of them builds off each other. As you develop your core values and beliefs before you take new territory, you begin to build the foundation for the remaining seven lessons in leadership.

Lesson two: Leadership must be proactive, not reactive.

Definition of reactive is tending to be responsive or to react to a stimulus.

Definition of stimulus: An agent, an action, or a condition that elicits or accelerates a physiological or psychological activity or response.

Definition of proactive: Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty.

Now I don’t know about you, but as a woman who has emotions, there are many different things that can stimulate me which cause me to react!

However, as a leader, we must learn not to react on these emotions because if we do, we can respond in a manner that is not appropriate. No matter who we are leading, we need to make sure that we are not reacting to situations out of emotions or something that has gotten under our skin. This is whether we are leading our children, in the job force, in ministry, in church etc.

There are many leaders out there leading by reacting to what is coming at them rather than going on the proactive side and begin to act in advance to deal with the expected difficulty.

We all have those times when things come at us that we don’t foresee or have any clue what is around the corner. As a leader, these are the most critical times for us to learn how to be proactive rather than reactive. Will things come along that will attempt to distract us or throw us off track? You bet. But as we grow in leadership, we can begin to grow in how we respond and making sure that we are not losing sight of the goal.

Lesson three: Activity does not equal accomplishment.

WOW! Now this one could be a touchy subject. Have you ever met someone who has their hands in so many different places that they are so busy that they are ineffective? They have many wonderful ideas but because they have themselves stretched so thin, none of the areas they are leading is effective? How does this happen? We get caught up in activities or these “good” things that they distract us from what God is asking us to do.

In leadership, we have a job to do. For each one of us, that goal is different. The focus is different. But we must be like a trained solider who has been given a mission and task to complete. No matter what comes at him, he must complete the goal. Many things may come to distract him or make him busy but nothing can take his focus off the goal. Why? Because it puts him in danger along with everyone else around him. Plus, it takes his focus off the goal.

I encourage you today to not let your emotions get the best of you so you react to things but that you take a proactive stance to focus on the goals ahead and not allow yourself to be distracted.

Lessons in Leadership by Kim Checkeye

A friend of mine bought me a John Maxwell Leadership Bible for Christmas and I love it. I love to read about Moses, Aaron, Joshua, Peter etc. and hear how they were leaders and how God grew their leadership abilities.

As many of you know, Truth for Women is opening The Women’s Center Lehigh Valley on September 11th. The ministry is about to go down a road that we have never been before. I have been reading about the Israelites on their journey to the Promise Land and I have seen it in a whole new light comparing it to Truth for Women embarking on the promise of The Women’s Center.

I am about to go into Deuteronomy and in the introduction, John Maxwell gives eight lessons in leadership that I would like to share with you. Each one is so powerful and is a huge teaching moment. Each one is something to chew on and learn from. I will take them one at a time and continue to post them every couple of days in this blog.

The first lesson in leadership is: Develop your core values and beliefs before taking new territory.

For any leader, this is something that is very important on a daily basis but when God is about to take you into new territory, it is a must. I know for TFW, as we are about to enter into the new territory of The Women’s Center, it is critical for us to establish “filters” for every area of the ministry. We have a new board member and she is graciously teaching us how to do this and how to set the standards.

It is important as leaders that when we are about to embark on new territory that we set these filters in place so that every person, every thought, every task, every assignment, every program gets funneled through these filters.

Whether you realize it or not, each one of you is a leader. Maybe it is your family, work place, church, support groups, friends etc. but each one of you led someone. In all reality, you led more people than you think.

As God opens doors for you to embark on new territory, maybe a job, a new friendship, a new program at church, a new ministry, heading up something at school, whatever it may be, make sure you have your core values and beliefs set before you take that territory. Why? Because those are the areas that are going to be shaken. Those are the areas that are going to be tested. Those are the areas that are going to be your filters for everything that you do.

I have seen time and time again, leaders fall into the game of pride. Why? Because they enter into new territory, they get puffed up and they begin to forget and hold onto those core values and beliefs. Somehow the core values and beliefs get pushed aside and the focus begins to be “it’s all about me” rather than focusing on the goal.

As God opens the doors, before you walk in, get your heart and mind set on the things of God so you will not be shaken. Get your core values and beliefs set so you can take the new territory and excel.

Mother's Day by Kim Checkeye

I lost my mother when I was 19 years old and I use to hate Mother’s Day. I longed for my mother deeply and I felt like I was missing such a huge hole in my life. I watched my girlfriends have coffee with their mothers or go shopping or take long walks and I would get very jealous. I remember times when I would just jump in the car and go to my mother’s grave and weep at her gravestone. I often felt betrayed because I was missing out on something every person should have in life.

After I had my first daughter Hannah, I remember thinking that this would be the perfect Mother’s Day ever. It was my first year as being a mom and all those pains would just disappear into the night. Yeah right! Day by day I grew more miserable and angrier as the days got closer to Mother’s Day.

I remember one particular Mother’s Day that I am ashamed to talk about but it became a life changing event for me. I was a mother of two precious little girls who had been working very hard on their presents for me with their tiny little hands. The day had finally come and my girls were so filled of excitement. They gave me their presents and laughed with joy at their hard work. I thanked them gratefully but within my heart I was so full of anger. Finally, I had enough and I ran out of the house in tears with my bundles of joy chasing after me crying to come back because it was Mother’s Day. I took off and ended up at a green house buying flowers to plant in my flower beds. I was angry and so full of pain that I was crying out to God to just take it all away. Why, why did I have to lose my mother? Why couldn’t she have been with me at my wedding, when we bought our house, the birth of my children, when I was sick etc.?

As the anger inside of me was swelling up to overflowing, that soft still voice spoke out and reminded me that I was so focused on the past, that I wasn’t even seeing what I had right in front of me. I was so angry inside that I was missing out on two precious daughters whom it was my job and responsibility to raise. I was missing out on life with them because of pain and hurt. I had beautiful relationships with women I truly adored but I was not even recognizing them because of the anger. I had two women in particular that God had given me as Spiritual mothers to raise me in the things of God but I was so focused on me that I couldn’t even see the gifts that God had given me. I had younger women in my life who were looking to me to be their mentor but instead of grasping their friendship, I was focused on ME. I was so focused on me that I could not see anything or anyone else around me.

That day my life was changed forever. That day I saw a whole new glimpse of healing that I never saw before. I had a choice. To focus on the past or to focus on the future of what God had given me. To focus on my own feelings, emotions, pains or to focus on others.

Now, I love Mother’s Day! I love to celebrate it with my girls and focus on the amazing women that God has placed in my life. I love to celebrate the gifts of women that God has given me to hold deep within my heart.

Remember ladies, Mother’s Day is not about us, but has everything to do about those around us. It is not a day about honoring us for the things that God has called us to do for our families but it is a day about celebrating the beautiful blessings of children, friends and family that are around us.

As women, we wear many different hats in our daily walk. We are a chef, taxi driver, accountant, wife, daughter, friend, doctor, counselor and the list goes on. But the “hat” that touches our heart to the core is the one of being a mother. Now I know there are days when our children, no matter what the age, drive us absolutely crazy and we think that at any given moment we will lose our minds but in all reality, there is no greater gift that God could have possibly given us than the gift of being a mom.

Some of us may have never had children but we have had the opportunity to come along side of another woman and feed into her life. Sometimes God gives us spiritual children that literally become our own because they have found a place in our heart so deep.

Whether we have children from our own flesh and blood, children by adoption, fostering a child or being a spiritual mother, each is a gift and that gift comes with great responsibility. It is our job to instill certain things along the way. We are to show them love and we are to be a safe haven. We are to show them kindness, grace and mercy but we are also called to show them how to respect, do unto others and to have a servant’s heart. We are called to train them in the things of God and to teach His Word. We are to set an example for our children so they can follow our model as Godly individuals. Do we make mistakes? We sure do but what better example to show our children than to fall on our face and ask forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful opportunity to show them how to go to the Savior and bow before Him. But not only that, what an example to set for our children when we act wrongly towards them and we ask them for forgiveness.

I challenge all you ladies out there who are mothers, mentors, spiritual mothers, friends etc. to live in today and not the yesterdays. To be thankful for the here and now and not the “what should of been.” To be focused on the gifts you have been given and your future rather than the hurts and pains of the past. You have choices to make. Focus on the past or focus on the future. Focus on yourself or those around you. What will you choose?