Mother's Day by Kim Checkeye

I lost my mother when I was 19 years old and I use to hate Mother’s Day. I longed for my mother deeply and I felt like I was missing such a huge hole in my life. I watched my girlfriends have coffee with their mothers or go shopping or take long walks and I would get very jealous. I remember times when I would just jump in the car and go to my mother’s grave and weep at her gravestone. I often felt betrayed because I was missing out on something every person should have in life.

After I had my first daughter Hannah, I remember thinking that this would be the perfect Mother’s Day ever. It was my first year as being a mom and all those pains would just disappear into the night. Yeah right! Day by day I grew more miserable and angrier as the days got closer to Mother’s Day.

I remember one particular Mother’s Day that I am ashamed to talk about but it became a life changing event for me. I was a mother of two precious little girls who had been working very hard on their presents for me with their tiny little hands. The day had finally come and my girls were so filled of excitement. They gave me their presents and laughed with joy at their hard work. I thanked them gratefully but within my heart I was so full of anger. Finally, I had enough and I ran out of the house in tears with my bundles of joy chasing after me crying to come back because it was Mother’s Day. I took off and ended up at a green house buying flowers to plant in my flower beds. I was angry and so full of pain that I was crying out to God to just take it all away. Why, why did I have to lose my mother? Why couldn’t she have been with me at my wedding, when we bought our house, the birth of my children, when I was sick etc.?

As the anger inside of me was swelling up to overflowing, that soft still voice spoke out and reminded me that I was so focused on the past, that I wasn’t even seeing what I had right in front of me. I was so angry inside that I was missing out on two precious daughters whom it was my job and responsibility to raise. I was missing out on life with them because of pain and hurt. I had beautiful relationships with women I truly adored but I was not even recognizing them because of the anger. I had two women in particular that God had given me as Spiritual mothers to raise me in the things of God but I was so focused on me that I couldn’t even see the gifts that God had given me. I had younger women in my life who were looking to me to be their mentor but instead of grasping their friendship, I was focused on ME. I was so focused on me that I could not see anything or anyone else around me.

That day my life was changed forever. That day I saw a whole new glimpse of healing that I never saw before. I had a choice. To focus on the past or to focus on the future of what God had given me. To focus on my own feelings, emotions, pains or to focus on others.

Now, I love Mother’s Day! I love to celebrate it with my girls and focus on the amazing women that God has placed in my life. I love to celebrate the gifts of women that God has given me to hold deep within my heart.

Remember ladies, Mother’s Day is not about us, but has everything to do about those around us. It is not a day about honoring us for the things that God has called us to do for our families but it is a day about celebrating the beautiful blessings of children, friends and family that are around us.

As women, we wear many different hats in our daily walk. We are a chef, taxi driver, accountant, wife, daughter, friend, doctor, counselor and the list goes on. But the “hat” that touches our heart to the core is the one of being a mother. Now I know there are days when our children, no matter what the age, drive us absolutely crazy and we think that at any given moment we will lose our minds but in all reality, there is no greater gift that God could have possibly given us than the gift of being a mom.

Some of us may have never had children but we have had the opportunity to come along side of another woman and feed into her life. Sometimes God gives us spiritual children that literally become our own because they have found a place in our heart so deep.

Whether we have children from our own flesh and blood, children by adoption, fostering a child or being a spiritual mother, each is a gift and that gift comes with great responsibility. It is our job to instill certain things along the way. We are to show them love and we are to be a safe haven. We are to show them kindness, grace and mercy but we are also called to show them how to respect, do unto others and to have a servant’s heart. We are called to train them in the things of God and to teach His Word. We are to set an example for our children so they can follow our model as Godly individuals. Do we make mistakes? We sure do but what better example to show our children than to fall on our face and ask forgiveness when we mess up. What a wonderful opportunity to show them how to go to the Savior and bow before Him. But not only that, what an example to set for our children when we act wrongly towards them and we ask them for forgiveness.

I challenge all you ladies out there who are mothers, mentors, spiritual mothers, friends etc. to live in today and not the yesterdays. To be thankful for the here and now and not the “what should of been.” To be focused on the gifts you have been given and your future rather than the hurts and pains of the past. You have choices to make. Focus on the past or focus on the future. Focus on yourself or those around you. What will you choose?